I’m just gonna lay it out there. If getting dumped and/or
made a fool of was an Olympic sport, I would definitely take home the gold. People
Magazine covers would be adorned with articles about “America’s Pathetic
Sweetheart.” And I would gladly accept my role.
I became very aware of my foolishness during my junior year. Not
only did the boy I like make a fool of me, but my best friend hung me out to
dry. (Literally, I cried so much that I needed to hang my sweatshirt to dry.)
The abbreviated version of this love story goes a little something
like this. Sophomore year I had environmental poli sci with Sam. We started
chatting over the next summer. I developed a crush, and I thought he liked me,
too…apparently not.
If you recall the post about horrible dances, I took Sam to
my formal. He drank the entire time. Texted the entire time, even while we were
dancing. And, he was not up to hang out with me and my friends after the dance
had concluded. I got the message loud and clear. He was definitely not that
into me.
The next week I clearly remember one of my best friends
coming up to me and asking me if we could talk. Jessica pulled me aside after
Shabbat dinner was over and said this, “So I met this really great guy last
night, and he is really nice. I am going out with him Saturday. And his name is
Sam.” Wait for it. “Is that okay with you?”
Before I get into this, I would like to point out a few
technicalities. (1) Are you trying to rub it in my face that he likes you and
not me? (2) He isn’t a great guy because he has no respect for friendship
boundaries. (3) Uhm, why are you asking if it’s okay with me, when you already
told him yes?
CLEARLY, IT’S NOT OKAY WITH ME! (I’m down for being dumped
on, but not with contributing help from my best friend.) However, due to point
3, I uttered the obligatory phrase, “Yeah, have fun!” And I exited the scene all
the way to my other friends’ apartment to begin my night of patheticness.
Have you ever seen a girl crying in the middle of a bar and
wondered what was wrong with her? Well, from my experience, I can tell you her
best friend is probably going out with someone she either really liked or
dated.
We were in the middle of my favorite bar, and I was wearing
a sweatshirt with Mickey Mouse dressed up like Santa Claus. (Just to give you a
timeline, this was in December, and we had already stopped by an ugly Christmas
sweater party.) Some boy approached me and handed me a Cranberry Vodka and said, “You look like you could use this.” I wasn’t even offended.
Although, it did spark me to start crying again. (Note, I was not crying because Sam didn’t like
me. That would be dumb. I was crying because I felt betrayed by my best
friend.)
The rest of that night is a puffy-eyed blur of me repeating
the story over and over again to strangers who all had the same reaction. “What
a ______?!?!” I don’t really know where the end of this story is, because I
forgave Jessica (thinking she knew too much about me to throw a friendship
away), but there is always that thought in the back of my head. And nothing has
really been the same ever since.
So I will give you this advice: Friends don’t date friend’s
crushes, or exes, or anything for that matter during said friend’s search for
her NJB…it’s just not right.
