Sunday, December 25, 2011

Happy Single Days From Me To You

Recently I saw a post on someone from my past’s facebook. Before I dive in to tell you about what it said and my thoughts, I just want to say what a great joy the internet has been in these last eight years of my life. I have not only had the opportunity to be digitally rejected (slightly like getting a נ playing dreidel), but I have recently found the joys in seeing my ex-crushes digitally rejected as well (the best Channuka gift a girl like me could ask for). And that, my friends, is not karma, but Gd’s handy work and his apologies to me and my failed attempts at glimpses of relationships.

I have found that around the holidays people tend to get lonely if they are single. We look at the nauseating couples trade Christmas gifts, share kisses on New Year’s Eve, and we round out the season of “joy” with a holiday devoted to the people we hate most: Valentine’s Day (Gag me! Really? What happened to us all getting cards from the entire class? The only thing good about VD is the nerds are sold in my favorite flavors and at a lower price…talking about the candy, not the boys). I know this because I have seen the Hallmark movies that tell me this is how singles, aside from me, feel.

So to all my single readers, this post is dedicated to you. This is my Channuka, Christmas and Valentine’s gift to you! And if you’re in a relationship, you have someone else to give you gifts; it’s gluttonous to turn to me for your holiday loot.

This facebook status I mentioned at the beginning of the post went something along the lines of this. “Laurie, you are amazing. I was foolish to ever let you go. I can’t find anyone else that has your humor, smile and intellect. Your heart is something to be sought after even though you give out so much of it.” Okay, the post didn’t say that. (But wouldn’t it have been grand?)

The post questioned where are all of the good girls: the smart, funny and caring ones. The boy proceeded to say that he could only stumble upon duds that are not up to his standards because they could care less about the world around them, governmentally and community wise.

Ladies and gentlemen (If any gentlemen are reading this and Jewish with height above 5’6, a bright future ahead, and thinks you can handle a slightly neurotic but good intentioned girl with mostly out of control curly hair, message me. I will give you my number.), I resisted the urge to do what any insane girl would do. I did not comment and say, “We are all with equally intelligent men.” I instead let it relish. It is a piece of hopelessness that will forever make me smile. It doesn’t make the corners of my mouth turn up because he got his. Instead, I smile because this feeling that no one out there that’s right for me exists, is something everyone feels.

Yes, my single readers, every ex-crush, fling, boyfriend (or husband?) of yours feels, at one point or another, that they will never find the person that is right for them. I would tell him and you what my mom always says, “You will find someone who loves you just the way you are, and you will be mad for him,” but I don’t believe this is true. While I believe this is more possible than not, it is no guarantee.

I will say this. To everyone you have come in contact with, you have made an imprint that will always be a memory in someone’s thoughts. And if you have not had a glimpse of a relationship, which I doubt is true, know that you have made an imprint on me. By reading about my most embarrassing and most unfortunate experiences, I am encouraged to continue writing about them. And for that I thank you, for giving me the best Channuka present a Jewish girl could get. Maybe not an NJB this year, but I found someone to listen to my troubles and possibly relate. While I carry on with my infinitely slow search for my NJB, I hope you take me on your search too!

Happy holidays to all of my fellow singles. And to those in relationships, well I have nothing to wish you since you got the present I have wanted since I pretended to be a bride in my mother’s white pumps.