Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Off to College

Montgomery has about 10 Jewish boys my age or older that were options for me or other girls my age to date. One was my cousin, one had a speech impediment (as mentioned before), one had been my enemy since birth, and the others were…well I am still not their type. (A girl can still dream of my best Jewish friend’s brother.)

Moral of this list: I wanted to go to a college where I would meet Jewish boys. (I mean top universities were also a priority.) Thus, I found the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. The Jewish students here make up 10% of the student population…about 4,000 Jews. With some rough calculations, I decided there were about 2,000 Jewish boys…1,800 straight, Jewish boys…1,000 single, straight, Jewish boys. That’s a lot more than seven in Montgomery, Alabama.

At 18, I was ready to embark on the second stage of my search. I was ready to find not only an NJB, but a SMART NJB!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Prom Part 2

If Urban Dictionary asked me to define prom I would say: An expensive night that causes great stress in the weeks following up to it and high expectations that will never be met. It also causes painfully funny memories that at the time are simply embarrassing and sad.

Peggy: Laurie how was your prom?

Laurie: I spent a lot of money on a dress, hair and nails for a night that society tells me is supposed to be GREAT, and I am not even FB friends with either of my dates anymore. What do you think?

In the summer following 11th grade, I joined the restaurant industry. My smile, friendliness and door opening skills scored me a job as a Smiling People Greeter (better known as an SPG or a hostess) at Ruby Tuesday. I got to work with alcoholics, baby daddies, spoiled kids and college dropouts! Not only did I get to work with these fantastic characters, I became friends with them…

So when my senior prom rolled around, I was presented with the same problem I faced the year before. I resorted to asking the semi-decent looking ex-druggie/alcoholic I worked with after begging my parents telling them that if I went stag to prom I would just perish right in the middle of senior lead out. The ex-druggie/alcoholic said he would be honored to go with me and he was so happy I asked.

Everything was perfect, I was taking a recovering addict, all of my best friends were going and I had the tickets in hand. This was all true until the Friday a week before the big show. After being told the doctor doesn’t think prom would be good for the addict, I let a new form of rejection set in. (I mean really, could I get any lower than going to prom with someone who has serious problems…?)

I cried, and cried, and cried a bit more in third block study hall with the rest of the girls who had their free periods. It was decided that I would go with a boy nicknamed Nub. His nickname describes the look of one of his not-so-much-there arms. Fine. I was desperate.

Everything was fixed. I was taking a blind date who stood out in a crowd. No biggie. That was all true until the next night when I got a call saying that he could no longer go with me. (To recap, we are at two rejections.)

No worries though, I got another blind date who actually took me to the dance. He was very friendly, very nice, very short and a decent dancer. However, things went down at our after party at the bowling alley. He left with another girl in our prom group. No big deal, I just became the 13th wheel in the prom party without an actual way to get home.

To have a really quick recap we are now at three rejections in the time span of a week. I wasn’t even actively searching for my NJB this time. PROM: the most Hellish experience I have ever been through…

So much for high school, on to college to find my NJB.